How to Start a Daily Gratitude Practice

How to start a gratitude journal

Start a Daily Gratitude Practice

A daily gratitude practice is a simple, proven way to combat negative thoughts, improve mental health and self-worth.

The Negativity Bias

Our brains are primed with a 6 times negativity bias. I.e. our minds see things 6 times worse than they actually are. This is to keep us safe. Thousands of years ago, when we heard a rustle in the woods, we needed to respond as if it was a lion or a bear for our survival. Assuming the worst keeps us safe: if it was only a rat and we are already running, it doesn’t matter much; if it was a lion, we are glad to be alive.

Some of us are more hyper-vigilant: perhaps because of less secure childhoods or more than average traumas and insecure periods in adulthood, we may have a stronger sense of things going wrong, even when things are fine. In modern life, many of our worries are unfounded, but our mind gets carried away with its negative thought process and takes us, our emotions, and our mood with it.

Evidence shows that a short daily gratitude practice can reset this bias, to see things in a more balanced way.

Gratitude Can Feel Hard

If we are feeling low, it is hard to see what to be grateful for. It is still worth pushing the heavy, creaky doors of our mind open to other perspectives (and neural pathways). When things feel bleak and hopeless, it is often because of the bias. There are hard times in all our lives, and some more than others. But it doesn’t mean it is always like that. This practice is worth a try. If it brings up difficult feelings, I recommend keeping going for a few days, noting your mood when you start and finish each time, to track.

“When you go into a garden, do you spend more time looking at thorns or flowers?”

A Sense of Entitlement

We sometimes have a sense of entitlement, stronger for some of us than others. If we feel entitled and don’t get what we feel we deserve, or our plans don’t result in what we hoped for, we can feel low. This is understandable.

I can feel bad that I don’t have a bigger home, or that I wanted more children but couldn’t. But feeling gratitude for the home I have and the wonderful gift of being a mother that I have, I am lifted. I don’t want to waste my emotional energy on things I have no control over.

Comparison and Gratitude

If you have a strong tendency to compare yourself negatively to others, this practice is for you, as you take your focus away from what you don’t have to what you do.

Presence and Gratitude

Gratitude can also be a form of presence. If we love and want life itself, the present moment is our gift. We appreciate that moment, and it cuts through any complex thought processes such as entitlement or comparison and brings us into the beautiful now. Now is really all we ever have.

Practicing Gratitude Daily Examples

Start simply, with things like your health, a roof over your head, being alive, then move on to the minutiae of your life. These are just examples.

• I am grateful for my home

• I am grateful that I am not in pain

• I am grateful I can pay my bills

• I am grateful my daughter is healthy

• I and grateful I find joy in writing

Then more specific:

• I am grateful that I have a beautiful park nearby

• I am grateful that I have friends who appreciate me

• I am grateful that my washing machine is working again

• I am grateful that I have chocolate in the cupboard

Emotions and Gratitude

Sometimes, in expressing gratitude, other emotions arise.

You may regret wasting time focussing on the negative. It can occasionally make you feel worse if you cannot reframe things with gratitude. Find another way to support yourself and try again another day.

This practice can lead to emotional pain, as it reveals a lack in your history or current life. Although painful, a sense of lack it can be valuable information for what you need to bring into your life. You might need to work through your sense of comparisonitis, or of entitlement, which can feel like a loss.

Change can feel scary and we can sabotage ourselves simply by not wanting the change. Perhaps those around you might not be supportive if you were to change, to feel happier. Perhaps you could even lose them. Changing our perspective - and personal growth can lead to other problems to solve, even when it’s the right thing.

But remember, if this happens, that it is a process and you are heading towards a stronger version of you.Imagine the caterpillar changing as her chrysalis grows. Terrifying. But the caterpillar accepts the changes, even though they may confuse or be painful. She lets go and allows herself to go through it. She then turns into a butterfly and she is self actualised.

A Daily Gratitude Practice

A daily ongoing gratitude practice is proven to help with wellbeing.

Each morning, or at any convenient time, write 6 things you are grateful for. Writing it down is best, preferably in a dedicated notebook, or use your notes on your phone to store your list. That’s it! Now feel you mood lift.

It’s also therapeutic to go back and reflect on your list in future times, so a dedicated notebook just for gratitude is a great investment. Looking back can be good if you are struggling to think of something.

Think about larger things like your home, job and health. Think about the people in your life. Aspects of your body you like, events and activities you have and take part in.

Because the practice is so quick, it is easy to build it into your daily life. I practice gratitude in phases; I did it for a month to begin with and now do it more occasionally as I see fit, particularly when I notice my mind veering down the negative path, and keep it going for a few weeks until I feel it has worked its magic. There is some evidence that its effectiveness can wear off after a few weeks, so this way keeps it alive.

That caterpillar can make assumptions about what is happening to her, or she can conserve energy and express gratitude for life itself, and openness to the future, knowing not only that it will pass, but that it isn’t so bad. As Shakespeare said:

“Nothing is either good nor bad, thinking makes it so.”

Gratitude is one of the 40+ lessons in the The Therapy Toolbox Course. If you’d like to explore further with the additional journaling prompts and workbooks, and the other lessons come and join us!